A swollen and somewhat bruised ankle has kept me mostly on the couch this morning. An Epsom salt soak and an ice pack have been my friends. I’m not complaining. I’m actually thankful for the opportunity to just sit and write, to spend some time in the Word. As much as I am a busy person and absolutely love being around people, I need my quiet moments, too.
Right now, I am in the process of writing a novel. No one besides me will ever read this draft. It’s a free-for-all with the storylines going everywhere, characters who are not well defined, plot holes galore. Some time down the road, it will become a finished product in which (hopefully) all of those things will be made pretty. And that’s the beauty of it.
My life, a lot of times, is a mess. There are moments when I am angry, sad, overzealous, and every other emotion that you can think of. I let them take over my life, and they can cause some major misunderstandings or problems. So, I spend time in the Word. I let God use it to change me. To help me trust Him more, and me less. He lets me see the place I hold in His heart, reminds me of my place in this world, and that really, I’m just a speck. He’s got this.
Just like the characters in my novel, my character is formed in that secret place. The greatest truths about me are formed in those times when there is no one else around. Before I even took my first breath, He wrote my life in His book, then He formed me, and then I was born. And He is still shaping me.
I’m learning that nothing really worth it comes easy. Or at least not as easy as we think it looks.
This is definitely not the most eloquent of posts, and is really a bit scattered. I just really want to remind you to have a little grace with yourself today. God loves you and He has a plan for you, as difficult and as wonderful as it may be. Don’t give up on yourself. And definitely don’t give up on God. He isn’t finished with you yet.